For a while, I debated posting this piece online because it didn’t feel finished or refined enough. I realize, however, that there is no reason for shame here. It doesn’t matter if a personal piece is a little rough around the edges so long as it conveys what it needs to convey, and I think I’ve done that well enough.

As I promised myself in last night’s post, I sat down with Morpheus and called upon my friends in spirit, asking to paint my primary guide. I haven’t worked with my spirit companions in at least a few years, and it’s been difficult for me to discern whether the roster has changed, so to speak. In some ways, I was a little afraid of what I’d find out, because I spent my early spiritual years connecting deeply with my primary guide, and I always feared that he would move on, as I understand some guides do. This entity had a major influence on my ability to intuit information, and to actually trust that information. I would’ve hated to see him go.

But when I sat down to paint last night, the imagery came effortlessly. Almost too effortlessly. Those self-doubting thoughts crept back up: I’m just painting what I want to see. But the interesting thing was, I barely received any impressions while painting. Usually, when I’m painting, I intuit things that have to be included, or changed, or emphasized. With this piece, I received basically nothing — most likely because I’m already familiar with this energy.

My primary guide, from years past.

On one hand, I should have known, but on the other, there’s been so little connection between us for the last few years that I could never tell whether he ‘moved on’ or if I was so deeply entrenched in physical life that I was blind to everything he tried to communicate. Maybe I simply needed time to live, to figure out how to be a young adult in the crazy, modern world. Maybe I needed to explore myself and learn my lessons through travels and challenges and new people. Maybe I needed space.

I would therefore consider this painting an offering of renewal. I’m a much different person now. I’ve had my space and my time, and now I must continue the work I came here to complete. Perhaps it’s time to reconnect with my beloved companion in spirit, alongside Morpheus.

This is an entity I know as Spike. No, I didn’t come up with that name. Yes, I plan to reflect on that story.

For now, I must wind down for the night. Morpheus beckons.